And I'm back, once again. I was at work today, getting peed on by little doggies, and I suddenly wanted to jump up and down with excitement.
I'm going to freaking Edinburgh! How cool is that?
Sorry. Now that the sadness of breaking up and the acceptance of "this is really going to happen" is kicking in, I am SO FREAKING EXCITED!
This time last year I was really upset. It was just sinking in that I wasn't going to Tufts, that I'd be leaving the country for 4 years, far away from everyone, and I was anxious and scared.
Sidenote: For those of you who don't know the story, I fell through a trapdoor in a hayloft while doing pre-entry EMS for Dick Vet, and fell 12 feet to a concrete floor, sustaining 2 broken wrists, a broken pelvis, and a concussion. Thus I was forced to defer entry into vet school for a year.
After I broke myself everyone kept saying "it happened for a reason. There must have been something that you needed to experience before leaving." Whenever anyone said this I wanted to hit them. It made me so angry! How could there be a reason for all the pain and boredom and helplessness I went through last year?
But now I think I get it. I'm still not sure I buy into the whole idea that God planned this year for some divine plan, but I get it. Hindsight is always 20:20 eh? This year has been amazing, on the whole. Despite the bumpy start, and the less-than-perfect job, I've learned a lot this year, about vet-teching, about myself, about my friends, and about frienship, love, and everything else. I had a whole extra year to spend with my friends, to spend with my (now ex? I hate saying that) boyfriend, and to live semi-independently. I know it sounds cheesy, but I think I've grown a lot in the last year. Not only that it gave me the opportunity to actually get really excited about Edinburgh, instead of freaking out about it. I've had a whole year to think it over, and realize that it's going to be amazing, and that other things, if they're meant to be, will fall into place afterward.
"Everything will be ok in the end.
If it's not ok, it's not the end."