Friday, June 13, 2008

Closer and closer

And I'm back, once again. I was at work today, getting peed on by little doggies, and I suddenly wanted to jump up and down with excitement.

I'm going to freaking Edinburgh! How cool is that?

Sorry. Now that the sadness of breaking up and the acceptance of "this is really going to happen" is kicking in, I am SO FREAKING EXCITED!

This time last year I was really upset. It was just sinking in that I wasn't going to Tufts, that I'd be leaving the country for 4 years, far away from everyone, and I was anxious and scared.

Sidenote: For those of you who don't know the story, I fell through a trapdoor in a hayloft while doing pre-entry EMS for Dick Vet, and fell 12 feet to a concrete floor, sustaining 2 broken wrists, a broken pelvis, and a concussion. Thus I was forced to defer entry into vet school for a year.

After I broke myself everyone kept saying "it happened for a reason. There must have been something that you needed to experience before leaving." Whenever anyone said this I wanted to hit them. It made me so angry! How could there be a reason for all the pain and boredom and helplessness I went through last year?

But now I think I get it. I'm still not sure I buy into the whole idea that God planned this year for some divine plan, but I get it. Hindsight is always 20:20 eh? This year has been amazing, on the whole. Despite the bumpy start, and the less-than-perfect job, I've learned a lot this year, about vet-teching, about myself, about my friends, and about frienship, love, and everything else. I had a whole extra year to spend with my friends, to spend with my (now ex? I hate saying that) boyfriend, and to live semi-independently. I know it sounds cheesy, but I think I've grown a lot in the last year. Not only that it gave me the opportunity to actually get really excited about Edinburgh, instead of freaking out about it. I've had a whole year to think it over, and realize that it's going to be amazing, and that other things, if they're meant to be, will fall into place afterward.

"Everything will be ok in the end.
If it's not ok, it's not the end."
-- Unknown

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Gaun Abread tae Auld Reekie

I was going to try and write this whole first post in Old Scots, but it turned out to be wayyy too complicated!

Anyway, this is the blog I'll be using to keep in touch with you guys, since cell-phoning will be (sadly) too expensive. A number of you will probably also be getting more personal emails every so often, but given that my life will soon be taken over by the wee beasties over in Auld Reekie (that's Edinburgh), this is where I'll post to everyone when I can't do the individual thing.

So today I got my joining pack from Dick Vet (more formally known as the Royal [Dick] School of Veterinary Medicine), and I've been tinkering around with the webmail and websites all morning. Plus my mom just sent me my plane ticket reservations. I'm leaving at 9:45pm on August 5 from NYC, arriving in Dublin, Ireland at 9am the next morning, then there's the 1 hour flight from Dublin to Edinburgh at 1:45 that afternoon. I wonder if I'll have time to leave the airport and get some lunch at a real Irish pub? That'd be pretty sweet.

I'm getting excited again, like really super excited. Part of me is still nervous and anxious, and a little sad, but I'm getting to the point where I wish I were leaving tomorrow so I could just go and start my new life. Right now I'm just sort of living in limbo. There's no point in making new friends, or getting into a new relationship, because I'm just leaving in a month and a half (ahh!), and hanging out with my current friends is (no offense intended) a little sad, because I keep thinking about how you're all going to hang out like that without me after I leave, and I'll be missing out. It's like an incredible emotional rollercoaster going from being really excited to really sad every 5 minutes. So I just want to go and be able to live my life instead of only sort of half living it. Plus, I've been waiting for this for an entire year since I broke myself last year. It's like, Come on already!

Anyway, I should probably do something productive with my day, huh?

Signing off,